As the darkness of the night cast a shadow around the estate
Recollections of today's events surfaced in my head
Perhaps it was a really stupid mistake
But i doubt its a decision i would regret that i made
I think back through all the times
Realised it was just all tricks created by my mind
There is no longer any turning back
I will be standing right here on the same track
//i will try putting your picture away
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random thoughts.its 251am.im sleepy!
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im so so so so so so sorry to one and all,i know i said im gonna change blog addie, but you know me,being so busy and lazy, i really dunt have the time to get my butt on the computer chair and start messing around with htmls.so i will still be using this for the time being aiiight?and then when i finally changed it i will post it here and jus re-linked aiiight?sorry!and i realised there were some speculations and miscommunications previously.haiyah!whatever,serious apologies!dui bu qi!
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have been riding my beloved bikey loh around lately.oh it has a name now.shu called it bikey loh motor. seriously like there is a catch to the name or anythng.hais.shakes head.oh oh anyway, as usual, with my lousy riding skills, think i almost caused accidents.i had to stall in the middle of the road again and the stupid engine jus died out on me.had to push the dang bike to the side and it was not light la seriously.kaos.dunnoe whats wrong with me.called keayearn and got scolded instead.#$@$%&*&#. dang angry tt day la!
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then wrote to work yesterday.as i am very very sensitive to traffic lights, i usually dun "chiong" red lights.so this guy behind me was tailgating dang close.cant he see my farkin p plate!so i brake and he had to brake.i heard all his goods went "bang".serve him right la.two traffic lights somemore.hais.feel so bad now.
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then went to work.zul was sick so cindy came to replace instead.then cindy say i open floor cos she work full shift! sia.=(((( then i had to move all the tables.hais.so heavy.HAHA.then farhan came.and the funniest thing happened.
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i was standing beside the cashiering system when farhan was in the bar. then he tugged at me and whispered, "there is a cockraoch behind the cookie container". So i went to look but i couldnt see any. Then i saw it! So i asked farhan to "catch la!then he gavee me that kind of look and say "huh!but i scared!". fainted. i learn sth new everyday.so i killed the second cockroach for the day, total 3 in this month.hais.gonna become the enemy of cockroaches man!
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went home for tuition later.i was stoning so much i think the student realised and told the mum. =X came home and slept for 12 hours straight?!gosh.-snort
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activities and events lined up later, cant wait!

yesterday marks a complete full stop to the end of the never ending fairytale.
i thank you for the freedom you grant me
i hate you for the hurt you gave me
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bike is in a total mess.went down to ubi to check on it.bloody hell.the handle bar alighnment is like shit totally. when im going straight, the handle bar is actually slanted. get it?oh well never mind. dang irritated. got to make a trip down on monday again. and the fuel tank casing is loose. the handle bar is loose. not forgetting all those deep scratches. think im selling off the bike and getting another. something that i dont have to care so much. like vincent's phantom. urgh.
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am moving blog.dont look for me.i will look for you if i want you to know.on second thoughts.you can ask me.i might give you if i like you well enough
=)))

in the cold and lonely night,
tears found me.
every single thing
refreshes me of your existence and memory
the box of chocolates in the fridge,
the can of clam chowder
all reminds me of the happy times we once had
i fight myself holding back my tears lately
stonning off my life
but i know its better for us this way
i just need time to get over this phase
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random tots.and im bored

emotions overwhelmed me and i teared today...
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was supposed to be a happy day but nah.i collected my nsr150 and had a riding sessions everywhere.anyway.i skipped a tuition as a result and the parent aint pleased.oh well.will worry about that later.am dang broke now though.paid 3k odd for the bike.plus e season parking and stuffs.oh well.
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went down cc to work
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the end
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boring yea? LOL. i rode home from hv today.almost knocked down by 3 cars.dint even give way.and the clutch control is dang tiring.should have gotten a vespa or sth.and the acceleration of the bike sucks seriously.oh ya.when i came home.there were no parking lots so i had to park at 4A.imagine the chore i have to climb tml.=-
a simple friendship blossomed into love one day.and as the day progress.love and chmistry lost their way.if two people like each other but just cant seem to get along,what is the point of being together?what was the reason u got together?if there aint any,then there is no reason to stay on.but!there are reasons to hold on.affairs of the heart are complicating.no wonder im suited to a single and carefree life =)
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have been blog surfing the whole morning, realised that the people around me aint happy, for many various reasons. celeste dont like it!. but im such a small fry, so its hard for me to do any significant changes that will actually cheer them up. past experiences taught me that no matter how many "cheer ups" you say, its not gonna help. it only adds to the frustrations. If saying cheering up would help, then the person aint even geniunely upset in the first place. hmm. not gonna say cheer up then, im gonna change saying "kai xin dian!"
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term break is coming to an end. thats bad. i have two 8% assignment stretching their arms and waving to me really sexily, telling me that i have yet to even take a peek at them. oh my tian. okie i will embark on the journey to complete them upon finish blogging, i hope. haven been working much lately. and thats good. LOL. never felt so relax in my life before! i wanna go tanning but its raining in the wee hours. weather dont look good ar.
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prelims are coming to an end! yeps! dunnoe why am i rejoicing over it too when im not the one taking, but i know this means lesser tuitions for me! i have been seeing the same students for a few days straight, and their house feels like my second home!
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okie this entry is jus full of random thoughts. im feeling immense relaxation currently and i have no idea why. a boulder just seemsed to have been lifted all my shoulders. and i feel as if there is the urge to float now for i dunnoe why too! Oh ya Oh ya! have been editing my links like finally, if i missed out anybody, pls remind me!
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Till then!
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Even if your world comes crashing down, i will be here to support it up for you. You are never dark and lonely, cause in the dark, i will be holding that ray of light for you.=))

as the neglection slips in and the significance of redundancy surfaces...what am i to do?
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it has been a long time since i last inked/blogged/wrote!whatever lah huh.LOL.went for bike in the morning yesterday.i bloody fell in fronta of many many many ppl!serve me right la.was overconfident when i was doing my u-turn,that i turned too little,and ended up colliding into the bushes!worst still,when the instructor picked my bike up and ended it to me.i held on a while,feeling dazed and stars struck,i dropped the bike onto the ground and just stared blankly.ALAMAK!dang embarrassing alright!wished the floor would jus open up and swallow me up.luckily my face was concealed by a visor.But still,people will know my tag number!haiyos!just imagine if hermine knows about this...hais.Luckily i was smart not to put schedule.haha.
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Went for tuition at the tuition center after that.this was a new class i was coaching.and this really cute primary 5 gerl(cute as in behaviour...)handed me a piece of drawining that goes"teacher are you a boy or girl?"and on the drawing was tons and loads of hearts and flowers and the picture of she and me.Seriously i have no idea what does it mean.so i just smiled and kept the paper.LOL.Luckily i wouldnt be seeing her again.But somehow i thought the drawing was rather sweet oki!
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Now its 6 in the morning and i woke up too early for class.saw the timings too early,thank god i woke up to double check.how pathetic.half a sem gone and i still have no idea where my classes are for this semester.all my resolutions for being hardworking.rolling down the drains mannnnn.
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and sometimes i just hate jacilyn woo wai peng la!everytime she says meet,if i dunt msg her,she will conveniently forget.stupid jacilyn i hope you see this!
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Ben!i wasnt in NTU tt day sorrie!i was sick(really this time round!)So when are u going to fetch me around?hurry la!im handicapped now!
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Gerri
hey!i miss you too!like loads and loads and loads!i saw ur make over picture or sth?on msn display pic!dang pretty la!message me when you are free to meet up alrightt!
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Len
i wanna whine la.last time secondary school i still got people to whine to.bleah.yes i love school.love school so much its killing me.you too relax oki my big lawyer!
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mum is nagging again.and she just forgets that till date she owes me close to 4k and she still cant stop nagging at me.hais.control control control.ken just asked me "why is mummy starting her lecture again?" LOL i dunnoe. i hate people going through menopause la.dang irritating.
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germaine
hey good luck for ya prelims!please don't disappoint me alrightt!dont make me give you tuitions for nothing!
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Lastly,
Jia you hippy!you can do it alrightt!and i will try to overlook the fact you still got my name wrong after a year of rship.oh wells.
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if you love a person and you are clear of the feelings, hold on.hardwork will pay off eventually.even if it dont.heaven aint blind.you will be appreciated one day=))

i just cried. within seconds.
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leave all you want, ignore for all i care, afterall,
i got blamed for caring
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isolating.

life has been hectic, therefore the lack of entries. sincere apologies! so im blogging now cause miss shellen left a tag that goes update! heh.
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school is disgusting, major turnoff. whatever bad words you know of, you got it. due to some modules being class rated and no final year examinations, i have to drag my ass down to school every monday and thursday to pretend that im participating enthusiastically in the lessons. hectic week next week. 2 major presentations but at least, i would be pretty free after these. personal individual assignment due the week after, i need help. sigh.
Groupmates have generally being alright, other than a particular group. perhaps i jus cant take it when people are so hardworking?most likely.cause, i feel as if i did not contribute significantly. oki cel, you are in year 2, bloody wake up.sigh. time is shooting past me.jus today, i was supposed to go work at 9am.blink a little its already 1pm, i did not even do anything constructive.
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i have no idea what are you expecting from me,but i know you aint the only one in tears. my thoughts are in a whirl, as i try figuring out the underlying meaning you have in your word and actions. i know you have been doing alot, but you are expecting even more in return. and within minutes, you pretend as if nothing happened. im confused. i feel like im being driven crazy. i have no choice but to avoid you, seek refuge and solace in work. im scared. i dunnoe wad lies ahead. and its getting bleaker by the minute. everytime the thought of you surface, tears filled my eyes to the brim and i have to fight to hold it back. when you call, i have to pretend that everything is fine for fear of showing attitude. its draining me, just like hows its draining you. and i just cant be happy again. I tired to understand you are having many problems in your life, but i cant take the swings so frequently. im lost. i dunnoe what to do. someone, anyone, guide me please?
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im exhausted, mentally and physically.